its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cockslap morals
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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