So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize