and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I smell like Dick and happiness
tell me about the fingering
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