I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
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The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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