Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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