I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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