Don't you send me to vm
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize