Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize