Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize