Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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