And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
