garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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