I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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