yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
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Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
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I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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