it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize