I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize