Betty ford says i'm here all night
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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