There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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