Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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