Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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