Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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