you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize