fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize