I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize