Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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