Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize