I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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