she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize