This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
babies were throwing up all over the place
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize