Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
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She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize