we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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