he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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