I heard we made out
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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