Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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