not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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