Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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