You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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