You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
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What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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