yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize