do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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