happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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