Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize