Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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