I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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