Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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