remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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