This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize