well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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