I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have post one night stand depression
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