I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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